My name is Cindy. I am forty six years old. I have HCV.

In 1998 I had been sick for months and since my Doctor and family members excused it for the stress in my life. I begin to search medical books for answers. I walked into my Doctors office with three medical conditions I thought might be the reason I was feeling so tired. The first was Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Mononucleosis and Hepatitis. I had some blood drawn and a few weeks later I received a note in the mail.

I did have the Hepatitis C infection. I sat and couldn't believe it. I stayed in denial for the first year. I felt contaminated. I was always worried if I were to bleed around anyone. Because I do a lot of physical work on my property. I had my daughter tested three times for HCV over the years. She does not have it. I was the care taker of my first husband who had the Hepatitis C Virus. He had contracted through a blood transfusion in 1981.

After our divorce he continued to drink alcohol until he passed away at the age of thirty three. I thought how hard it was on him, now knowing how sick he must of felt. I didn't have many options since I had no medical insurance and fell between the gaps in getting some assistance for my medical condition.

I was raising my child alone. I could not afford to go to the specialist that my Doctor had referred me to. So my son set me up with many herbs to take… So many I was overwhelmed. He would send me boxes of herbs. Maybe over doing it since he was worried. I thought is he kidding! I can't do this. I decided to take the Milk Thistle and the Liver-aid. I brought a juicer and started juicing beets and carrots. I had energy and I had hope. I read everything I could find on HCV. I allowed myself rest when I needed it.

I found that taking Desi-Cates, an anti-fatigue supplement gave me energy and a feeling of well being . I also suffered from depression and have taken Zoloft for eight years now. For the last seven years I have taken my herbs. Yes I do complain sometimes. I remind my Dentist and Doctors before they treat me. I still panic that I may cut myself. My daughter has a anxiety disorder that leaves her home bound.

When I was diagnosed she believed I would die while she was at school and would have panic attacks. She was ten years old at the time. My daughter now seventeen is finally on the right medication and getting her feet wet in the world today. I think when you find the one thing that keeps you going, that one thing that makes you never want to give up on life no matter what. Then you have a will and power to continue the fight. We all have something. There were times even knowing that God is in my life that I just wanted to die. But that one person in my life who would need me kept me going and still does. Without my herbs I think I would sleep my life away, to tired to think or care. I know if I don't take my herbs I will have so much nausea and fatigue, among other problems.

So I take them and try to live every day to the fullest. I have a good three to four hours before I need to rest in between work. I cannot get medical insurance due to the HCV. I have my liver enzymes checked every few years and keep taking the herbs. I recently tried Maximum Milk Thistle instead of my Thisilyn 2x I normally take. Wow! It really is better. Life is short, we need to live it. Being in the country has helped me appreciate what I do have. My life. I am a survivor.

There are times when we all feel ourselves sinking. Swimming as if we were in a never ending body of water. Keep swimming, float if you need to. Each day is ours to live, laugh and love ourselfs.